


Rukia and Renji Flagrantly Misuse Valuable Gotei-13 Field Equipment (for Science!)

by polynya



Category: Bleach
Genre: Bisexuality, Bodyswap, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Genderswap, Gigai swap, Idiots in Love, Shameless Smut, boy howdy is this bisexual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-03-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:00:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23164378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/polynya/pseuds/polynya
Summary: Squad 12 has developed a new hot-swappable gigai, an amazing innovation that could save lives, reduce mission costs, and provide new scientific insights into the nature of the soul.Rukia and Renji, asked to test out the prototypes, immediately use them for 🐒🐍🕶️🍑🍆❄️🐰 purposes.
Relationships: Abarai Renji/Kuchiki Rukia
Comments: 10
Kudos: 65





	Rukia and Renji Flagrantly Misuse Valuable Gotei-13 Field Equipment (for Science!)

**Author's Note:**

> This was absolutely inspired by [this Tumblr post](https://recurring-polynya.tumblr.com/post/611747324527558656/yes-yes-yes-yes-yes-this-is-my-new-favorite-thing), but please do not blame the original authors, they are but innocent bystanders.
> 
> Uhhhhhh I don't write a lot of smut, so this is a little nerve-wracking for me, but these are dark times, and we all gotta do what we can. If this gets too weird for you, just hit back and please don't judge me too harshly. I hope you enjoy it. I sure had fun writing it.
> 
> Thanks, as always, to Luna12 for the beta.

“This was a terrible idea. I take back my support for this idea. Please put your shirt back on. My shirt. Whatever. I hate this.” Renji scowled, his delicate eyebrows crashing together over his big, dark blue eyes. 

Rukia looked up from trying to examine her own abs. Holy cats, that was an adorable little scowl Renji was making. “You aren’t even looking at me,” she announced. “You are missing out. I’m taking off my pants.”

“I have seen it before,” Renji replied dryly.

Rukia wasn’t used to wearing jeans and found them rather difficult to remove, particularly getting them over her now stupidly large feet. Ah, well, they made Renji’s ass, which was now _her_ ass look really good, so clearly they were worth the trouble. “I rather like Living World underwear,” she commented, trying to check out her own rear. “The ones for men are boring, though. Did you get exciting ones?”

“I haven’t checked!” Renji yelped, crossing his arms over his chest. 

Rukia waited for it.

“What kind of exciting?” Renji asked in a very small but very curious voice.

Rukia raised one tattooed eyebrow. “Lace, sometimes. Silky. _Colors_.”

Renji, in Rukia’s gigai, squirmed. 

Rukia, in Renji’s gigai, put her hands on her hips and puffed out her chest. “You want to investigate together?”

Renji’s cheeks were flushed pink with embarrassment as he looked over at Rukia. They promptly went scarlet with _double embarrassment_ , and he looked away quickly, shading his eyes with one hand. “You’re naked. Why are you naked? Stop being naked.”

“Shan’t,” Rukia declared. “Have you seen this thing?” She gave a few experimental thrusts of her hips. “It’s magnificent. Why do you ever wear clothes?”

“How do you already have a boner?” Renji wailed. 

“I don’t know!” Rukia proclaimed, clearly delighted. “That happened by itself. It’s probably because you’re so cute, blushing like that.” She flung herself onto the bed next to Renji, and started running her fingers up and down his bare shoulder. “How come you’re so nervous? You love gettin’ pegged and you’ve had sex with guys before.”

Renji wanted to use the excuse that Zabimaru didn’t like this, but Zabimaru was thrilled at the prospect of his shinigami being in some halfway state between male and female. Renji suspected that their zanpakutou hadn’t separated cleanly either-- Zabimaru felt strangely distant, and there was a cool, quiet solidness underlying the place in his soul where he could usually feel the nue stalking around restlessly. Instead, he drummed up another excuse, “It’s not weird because you’re a guy, it’s weird because you’re _me_.” 

Rukia had started kissing Renji’s shoulder, rubbing her hand over his back, pausing briefly every time her fingers brushed over the zipper of his sundress. “That’s funny,” she replied in a tone of voice that spoke very clearly that she didn’t believe him.

Renji waited for her to continue, chewing on his lip and trying not to think how much he wanted her to slide down that zipper. “What’s funny?”

“Well, I mean, let’s face it. In the looks department, I’m maybe a 6, and you’re more like an 11, but here I am, super horny for my own body and you’re not even interested in yours.

“I think we’re both solid 9’s,” Renji grumbled. His eyes kept darting furtively over at her chest and down toward her abs. “And I spend a lot more time on skincare and stuff than you, you’re naturally much better looking than me.”

Rukia cackled and started trailing kisses up his neck.

“And it’s not that I’m not _interested_ , it’s that, _ahhhhh_ …!”

Rukia had found the sensitive spot under her ear, which was now conveniently located under _his_ ear. She gave a playful nip at his earlobe. “Try to think of it less as having sex with yourself, and more like being made love to by someone who knows everything about the body you’re in right now.” Rukia put her fingers under Renji’s chin and tipped his cute, round little face toward hers, their lips hovering just a few centimeters apart. 

Renji swallowed.

“What do you say we just make out a bit?” Rukia suggested. “We can stop anytime you want. And if y’do like it, I’ll do anything you want to you.”

“Will you put your pants back on?” Renji asked in a small voice.

“No,” Rukia replied, leaning forward to kiss him. 

Renji closed his eyes and kissed her back. This wasn’t so bad. Her lips were firmer than usual, and when he reached up to touch Rukia’s face, her jaw was sharper and her skin not so ridiculously soft, but it was still very much like being kissed by Rukia. You could really only kiss Kuchiki Rukia for a second or two at most, because then she was kissing you. Rukia always won at kissing, or at least she always won at kissing _him_ , and that was an L he was happy to take. He wondered for the first time if she always worked this hard at kissing, or if it was just for him. That thought made something curl, warm and happy in his stomach, and Renji reminded himself that being a pill when Rukia wanted to have sex with him was _dumb._ He sat up straighter and shoved his tongue past her own to press up against the sharp points of those fangy canines in the way she always did to drive him crazy.

Rukia growled happily in her throat, and putting her hands on his hips, she picked him up like he weighed no more than a kitten, and settled him on her lap. Renji wanted to protest, why, why, _why_ did she insist on being naked? It wasn’t that his own nude body wasn’t nice to look at. _He_ certainly enjoyed a self-indulgent flex in front of the mirror now and again. It’s just that from this angle, it was very large and very male and very _a lot, all at once._

Renji tried to adjust his weight, to find some minor shift that would make this even an iota less awkward. His wriggling did absolutely nothing toward making it less awkward. It did a lot toward causing some interesting sensations down in the lower part of his body. 

The Living World-style sundress his gigai had come in had a wide skirt that had gotten twisted around his thighs while Rukia was manhandling him. In some places, there was a thin layer of fabric between them, and in some places, Rukia’s hot skin pressed right up against his. Renji suddenly _was_ very curious about his underpants situation, since that seemed to be all that was standing between him and one very hard penis.

Now that Rukia had Renji where she wanted him and he no longer appeared interested in going anywhere, she moved one hand to his thigh, idly disentangling the skirt, before creeping higher until her fingers were able to probe the elastic legband of his panties. Hmm, no lace. That was disappointing. 

With her other hand, Rukia eased down the zipper of Renji’s dress, and snuck inside, searching for the clasp of his bra. 

“I thought we were just making out,” Renji mumbled against her mouth. He was experimentally running his fingers over her chest. Rukia didn’t keep her nails very long, but it was still longer than Renji was used to, and he was trying to figure out what to do with them. 

“I can’t touch your tits while we make out?” Rukia whined. “Come on, you want to see them, too, right?”

“Mmm,” Renji replied noncommittally.

The clasp came open with a pop. 

Rukia eased out of the kiss and leaned back to regard her partner with what she hoped was a smoldering glance. The front of Renji’s dress was loose and rumpled, but it didn’t actually reveal anything. It was taking all of Rukia’s self control not to shove it down around his waist. “Well,” she asked. “How are you doing?”

“You’re terrible at smoldering,” Renji informed her. “It’s more like this.” And then he made an expression that Rukia didn’t know her face was capable of making. She whimpered involuntarily. Renji gave a short bark of laughter, and started pushing himself out of his dress. “This isn’t so bad. We can keep going.”

Rukia took his cute little face in both of her big, stupid hands and kissed him tenderly. She loved this dumb grump with all her heart, and his surly little protests were just making her want him even more. She quickly moved her kisses down to his collarbone and lower.

“Hold on, I gotta get this thing off-- oh, damn. Shit. Fuck. Rukia, help.”

Without diverting her attention from the pert breast she had just uncovered, Rukia helped him guide his arm through the tangle he had made of his bra straps, and then she flung the offending garment across the room. 

Renji was generally more interested in other people’s nipples than his own, but he was honestly going to lose his mind over whatever Rukia was doing to his breast. She had it in her mouth and was sucking at the nipple and nudging it with her tongue. She rolled the nipple of Renji’s other breast between two of her fingers. This was to say nothing of her other hand, which had slipped up under the leg elastic of his underwear and was exploring the crease of where his leg met his body, nor of the hot pressure against his crotch. Renji kept trying to say something, but the only thing that would come out was “ah, ah, ah.” It occurred to him absently that he wasn’t pulling his weight, he should be _doing_ something but all this felt so, so good that he was having trouble thinking. Desperately, he shoved Rukia’s bandana off her head and dug his fingers through her hair. 

Rukia reached back and tugged out her ponytail holder. 

She’s going to regret that when she can’t keep it out of her mouth, Renji thought pettily. Oh well, might as well take advantage before she learned her lesson. He knotted his fingers into her silky red locks, and congratulated himself, both for taking such good care of his hair in the first place and for having imprinted it onto his self-image so strongly that the gigai synchronization process had picked it up. He experimentally applied a bit of pressure, wondering if Rukia liked having her hair pulled as much as he did.

Rukia released the breast in her mouth, taking a playful lick at it. “I was going to apologize for saddling you with half-rate boobs,” she observed. “But now that I've gotten to play with them from this side, they’re honestly pretty perfect.”

“I’ve been telling you that for ages,” Renji reminded her. 

“Mm, you have,” Rukia agreed, giving the neglected one a kiss, and then sitting back.

“Aren't you, ah, going to keep going?” Renji asked.

Rukia cocked a ridiculous eyebrow at him. “Oh ho, what happened to Miss I-Withdraw-My-Support-For-This?” She narrowed her eyes lustily. “I was actually thinking about how much I want to go down on you. If you’re up for it.”

Renji’s eyes went wide. “Ah, um, I. Yes? That is. I guess I figured you wanted to... you know. With the dick.”

Rukia gave his breast another kiss, with a bit of teeth this time. “There’ll be time for that later. But getting eaten out is one of the best parts of having a pussy, and I wanted to make sure you got to experience it.”

Renji tried not to let it show on his face how touched he was by her determination to show him a good time. Instead, he set his jaw and tried to look tough. “Okay, but when you’re done, I get to suck you off.”

“I’ll take that deal,” Rukia agreed. She picked up Renji by the hips and lifted him off her lap.

Renji was both a little embarrassed over how easily Rukia was manhandling him and a little sad at the sudden loss of all those interesting sensations between his legs and also pretty excited about what was coming next. Rukia slid the zipper of his dress the rest of the way down, and helped him squirm out of it. 

They both took a moment to appreciate the underpants. They had neither lace nor silk, but they were turquoise with hot pink trim and animals that might have been llamas printed all over. They sat low on his hips and had the word “Saturday” written across the front in a saucy typeface. It was not Saturday.

“Fuck, those are cute,” Rukia announced.

Renji nodded mutely. He was overcome with the odd feeling of being extremely hot for _himself_. He wondered if Rukia felt like this all the time. He hoped so. She certainly deserved it.

“Unfortunately, they are no longer needed,” Rukia went on, hooking her thumbs through the leg holes and up over the waistband and drawing them down over Renji’s knees in a smooth motion and tossing them over to the side of the room. 

“Do I have to do anything?” Renji asked nervously, as Rukia pushed her shoulders back down to the bed. 

“Nope,” Rukia replied, kissing him gently. “Tell me if there’s something you want me to do differently, I guess. And if you feel like you want to touch yourself while I’m working, don’t hold back, you won’t hurt my feelings.”

“Ah, okay,” Renji agreed.

“That’s my good girl,” Rukia appraised him throatily, and something in Renji’s stomach went tight with desire. Renji might be a dumbass at a lot of things, but he was pretty confident in his gender identity. He liked women. He respected women. He frequently got beaten up women. It just wasn't something he wanted to be himself. Being a dude was great, in his opinion. But all of a sudden, he was clobbered over the head with the notion of being, not just a girl, but _Kuchiki Rukia's girl_ , and he liked that idea very much, indeed.

Renji knew that Rukia’s sexual experiences before him had been mostly with women, but she didn’t give out much in the way of details, and he respected that. When she _did_ talk about it, she liked to give off the impression that she’d bedded most of the eligible noble girls in Soul Society. Renji had always suspected the number was more in the lower single digits, not that it mattered. But the way she parted his legs in a businesslike manner, tipped his hips up, and ran her tongue swiftly from ass to clit in one smooth knee-melting stroke, made him realize that regardless of how many partners she'd had, Rukia knew her way around a set of ladyparts.

Her next stroke was shorter, concentrating more on Renji’s opening. She parted his lips with her fingers, dipping her tongue deeper and deeper on each stroke. Renji dug his fingers into the blankets. This felt like exactly nothing he had ever felt before. The backs of his knees were sweating.

Rukia nudged at Renji’s clit with her nose at the end of each stroke. She had tasted herself before, of course, licked her fingers clean after a jerk-off, or caught the flavor on Renji’s tongue after he had finished doing this himself. Was it weird to enjoy having her face stuffed into what was effectively her own cunt? Possibly. But on the other hand, right now it was Renji’s cunt, and the idea of having her face stuffed into _Renji’s cunt_ was just stupidly hot to her. Rukia liked guys, too, of course, especially tall guys with broad shoulders and spiky hair who shouted a lot, but every so often, she’d find herself reminiscing about getting a handful of soft tit, a nice round one with rosy pink nipples, or pushing her fingers up into the cozy warmth of a tight pussy. Carefully, she slid two of her fingers up into Renji’s tight pussy, and moved her mouth higher to work at his clit. She had to admit she’d fantasized a few times about what Renji would be like as a girl-- that hair, an amazing rack, hips to match. The tattoos, of course, stretched over soft, sexy curves instead of hard, sexy angles. This wasn’t exactly the same, but it was already about a million times as sexy as she had possibly imagined and Rukia wasn’t about to look a gift cunt in the mouth.

“Rukia,” Renji moaned. He desperately wanted to touch his own breasts, but he knew that wasn’t going to help his situation. “Rukia, I’m not used to this. I’m gonna come.”

“Do it,” Rukia commanded, adding a third finger.

Renji groaned. “I-- I don’t want to come like this. I want you to fuck me.”

Rukia curled her fingers inside him. “You’re gonna come now and you’re gonna come again later when I stick my great big cock into this cute little pussy of yours. That’s the nice thing about being the girl.”

“I don’t know if I can. Uhn! Oh, Ru, oh shit, that feels good!”

“It’s my body and I know you can. You remember the Night of Four Times.”

“I do remember the Night of Four Times. I definitely cannot do Four--uhn, oh shit-- Times!”

Rukia pressed her mouth over Renji’s clit and began to give it quick, hard licks in time to her fingers pumping in and out of him. Fuck. Her hair kept getting in her face. It looked so good and it was _such_ a pain in the ass. 

Renji came suddenly with a sharp cry. His fingers clutched at Rukia’s hair, pressing her face into his crotch. Rukia was happy to oblige, sucking firmly on his clit as he rode the waves of his orgasm, the walls of his vagina spasming against her fingers. As his grip loosened, Rukia eased her fingers out and flopped up to lie next to him on her side. “Didja like that?”

“A-huh,” was all that Renji could manage. 

Rukia leaned down to kiss him. To her surprise, he responded fiercely, licking at the smears of his own wetness on her lips. “I guess I didn’t make you come hard enough if you still have the energy for this,” she murmured.

“You know me, I always get a second wind,” Renji responded, pushing her down on the bed and swinging one leg over her so he could sit on her chest. He thought for a moment and changed his mind. “You should sit up. The best part of getting a blow job from you is seeing that cute little mouth of yours all stuffed with cock.”

“Mmm,” Rukia agreed. “That does sound nice.”

Renji propped some pillows up against the wall, while Rukia settled herself against them, legs spread wide. He cracked his knuckles and scowled, trying to formulate a game plan. There was no way he was going to let her do that to him without returning the favor. 

Renji crouched to the side of Rukia’s hips, tucking his knees tidily under him. As he bent over her, it tipped his pert little ass into the air, like a cute fucking bunny. He knew this because she used this position on him all the time, and it was cute as fuck, and there’s no way he could tuck his actual body into this adorable fucking lump of adorableness.

Renji propped one elbow on Rukia’s thigh and rested his chin in his hands, contemplating the body part that he usually didn’t get to observe from so close. “Hey there,” he addressed the penis. “Believe it or not, it’s me.”

Rukia snorted.

Renji turned his head to look up at Rukia’s face. “I actually have not given nearly as many blow jobs as I would have liked.”

“Oh?” Rukia asked, trying to sound casual, but unable to hide the little hitch in her voice that let Renji know that she wished he would just _get on with it_.

“Don’t get me wrong, I know my way around a cock. Most of the dudes I’ve managed to get with are more interested in giving than receiving, I guess.”

“Fools,” Rukia appraised. "It's probably because of your dick. You have the aura of a man with a truly glorious dong, and lo and behold, it actually is."

“I dunno. It’s not that good a dick. It’s just big. There’s nothing special about it.”

“It’s a good dick, Renji.”

“It kinda curves to the left a little, which is--”

“ _Renji_. Why don’t you try sticking it in your mouth, and if you still can’t see how good it is, I am going to shove you face-down on this bed and _show you_.”

Renji looked up at her with lidded eyes. “Promise?”

Rukia growled involuntarily in her throat, baring a fang at him. 

Renji bit his lip saucily, and turned his attention back to the matter at hand.

Rukia was traditionally very aggressive at blow jobs, which Renji enjoyed and appreciated, but he had something different in mind, assuming she would put up with it.

Delicately, he kissed the head of Rukia’s dick, dragging one finger down from the top to the bottom of the shaft. He continued to circle his tongue lazily around the top, running two fingers back up as Rukia moaned. Renji tried to find a comfortable way of encircling it with his fingers. This was just weird, in his opinion. He was used to handing this thing a dozen times a day, and now, it didn’t fit in his hand the right way. Next to these tiny girl hands, it really did look huge. Could he use two hands? That was kinda hot. Renji took the whole head into his mouth, sucking lightly, so Rukia wouldn’t get too bored while he was futzing around. 

Rukia was not in any way bored. She was actually very, very interested in whatever Renji was doing. He didn’t seem to have any particular goal in mind, no _trajectory_ , he was just playing around down there and it felt _incredible_. True, he had already come, but Rukia never had this kind of restraint, and she was deeply impressed by it. He was kissing her balls now, pumping her shaft one-handed again with loose, lazy strokes.

Renji was also very impressed with Rukia. He remembered his own first blow job, an event whose duration was so brief, it would probably require one of those big Living World underground particle physics tunnels to measure it. Tucking his strangely short hair behind one ear, he chanced a look up at her face. Rukia was gazing down at him with an expression that was simultaneously blissed out and proud. Almost… possessive. Absently, she reached down, and tangled her hand in Renji’s hair, palming his head. A warm seed of happiness bloomed in Renji’s stomach, and he went back to work.

Rukia ran her hand down Renji’s neck and over his spine, pausing at the top of his ass. Cripes, she loved having these long monkey arms. Sliding her hand over to his far hip, she carefully hauled his rear end closer to her. 

“What are you doing?” Renji yelped indignantly.

“How you doing?” Rukia asked lazily. “You had a long enough break, yet?”

“Huh?” Renji frowned. “I’m in the middle of something here.”

“And you’re doing a bang-up job, baby, but if I let you keep going, I’m gonna come in your mouth and I was really looking forward to coming in your box.” Rukia was running her hand over Renji’s buttocks. “You’re gonna let me, aren’t you? Make a big ol’ mess of you?”

Renji frowned. “Are you sure you’re sure you can’t knock me up? Triple sure?”

“I wish! No, I already told you, the gigai are sterile, and I asked Akon and he said the protection kidou should work as it normally does.”

“Why did you ask Akon? I don’t want Akon to know we had sex in his experimental gigai!”

“Renji. He knows. He’s met us. He picked us, of all people to test his modular, universal synch gigai or whatever he's calling these things. He’d be mad if we didn’t, honestly. He spent forty minutes telling me how hard it was to abstract the genitals so that they would work no matter which of us was in which gigai.”

“Why didn’t you just tell him to shut up?” Renji yelped, horrified.

“It was interesting! Look, I don’t want to talk about this right now, I want to stick my dick in you. Since you wouldn’t tell me if you’re ready or not, I’ll have to check myself.” Running her hand down over Renji’s ass and between his legs, she slipped a single finger inside.

Renji swallowed, suddenly struck dumb.

“Hmm,” Rukia frowned. She slid it in and out a few times, then added a second finger. “Pretty wet in there. I think you liked having my cock in your mouth.”

“It was nice,” Renji answered in a tiny voice. Argh, it’s not like he wasn’t used to Rukia ordering him around, but something about their current situation had him going into super-sub mode at the least provocation. Probably because it was incredibly fucking hot, that’s why.

Rukia added a third finger, and Renji whimpered. He almost never used three on her, it was a real tight fit. He hadn’t realized how good a real tight fit felt, and resolved that Rukia was getting three a lot more in the future. “Mmm,” Rukia appraised. “What a good girl, getting so wet and slippery just thinking about me. But it’s your first time and I gotta wear that thing around town tomorrow, so I’m gonna go grease up.” 

Rukia withdrew her fingers, and giving Renji a sharp slap on the ass, hopped up and walked off.

Feeling very small and weirdly alone, Renji set up, blinking. “Where are you going?” he asked plaintively.

Rukia was rooting around in her overnight bag. “Gettin’ lube, I told you.” She came up with a small bottle. “Matsumoto gave me this. It’s Living World stuff. She says it works better on gigai than Soul Society lube.”

“You told _Matsumoto_ we were doing this? Cripes, I’m surprised she didn’t insist on joining in! Who the hell does she have gigai sex with anyway? Don’t answer that.”

“I didn’t tell her anything, she just gave it to me. She said she didn’t like the scent as much as she thought she would and I was the only person she knew who,” Rukia made finger quotes, “enjoyed marital aids from the Living World.” Rukia cocked her head thoughtfully. “I think you’re right. I bet if we texted her, she’d be knocking on the door before I even finished sending it.” She caught the stricken look on Renji’s face and laughed. “I think you left half your sense of humor in this gigai. Fuck, you’re adorable. You’re killing me, Renji.”

Renji’s cheeks flushed pink.

Rukia pulled the cap off the bottle. “Huh, I can’t believe she didn’t like this, it smells exactly like one of those umbrella drinks Urahara and Tessai are always getting loaded on.” She checked the bottle. “It says ‘Pina Colada’, whatever that is.”

“It’s pineapple and coconut and Tessai’s’re _fucking delicious_ ,” Renji replied grumpily, while Rukia poured some into her palm, and rubbed it onto her penis with the casual expertise of someone who had had a penis for longer than an hour. Why the fuck was Rukia so good at this? Why was she so good at _everything_?

"Ahh, what a sad face!” Rukia frowned, plopping back down in her previous spot. She reached over and cupped Renji's face in her hand, running a thumb over the soft skin of his cheek. “I’m sorry, beautiful. I’m being very mean to you when you’ve been nothing but perfect.” She blew an errant lock of hair out of her face and leaned forward to plant a very gentle kiss on his lips.

" _Yare, yare_ ," Renji sighed, reaching over to the nightstand for a spare hair tie. "I think being in my body has made you a dumbass. Come'ere."

Rukia gazed fondly at the baleful look of concentration on Renji's face as he expertly swept the annoyingly fine, silky strands of her hair away from her face. "Can you put it in the sloppy bun?" she begged. "It's so cute in the sloppy bun."

"You want the sloppy bun or the sloppy sex braid?" Renji asked, all business as he continued to find and collect more pieces of hair.

Rukia's heart swelled into her throat. Despite his protests, this dummo was always 100% on board with even her stupidest ideas, sex-related or otherwise, and she was so, so grateful. She was still hoping to convince him that this was a great idea, actually, but she still found his faith in her touching. She suddenly felt a pang of self-consciousness, asking this of him. "I mean, you're the one who gets to look at it, I don't want to be any trouble--"

"'S no trouble," Renji replied a bit more gently, moving around behind her back.

Rukia sighed contentedly as she felt Renji's hands, no less deft in their smallness, tame her stupid, sexy tangle of mane into a loose plait. There was the soft snap of the elastic, and then the finished product was tossed over one of her shoulders. Rukia shivered as she felt soft lips on the back of her neck.

"These back tattoos are pretty sexy," Renji observed, as though the idea had never occurred to him before. The kisses were traveling lower. "Actually your entire back situation is pretty sexy."

“You can borrow my strap-on if you want,” Rukia hummed. “The view is half the fun, y’know.”

The kisses were down around the tops of her buttocks now, traveling around the curve of her hip, and then Renji’s face appeared at her side. “Why would I want that?” he asked, crawling back around to her front side. “I get to put my actual dong in you all the time. I was promised the D, you aren’t getting out of this.”

“Anything for you, princess,” Rukia agreed. 

Renji was up on his knees now, regarding her penis thoughtfully. “How, uh, how do you want to do this? I know you kinda like to, uh…” He made an awkward thrusting motion with his hips. “I mean, I like that too. When you do that to me, I mean.”

“I do enjoy that, yes,” Rukia nodded. “You want to give it a go?”

With a serious frown of deep concentration, Renji threw one leg over Rukia’s waist and tried to line himself up. Rukia was torn between wanting to help him, and just watching him do this, because it was, frankly, adorable. She settled for holding her dick steady for him, but otherwise leaving him to his own devices. Finally, he appeared to be happy with his position. He steadied one hand on her shoulder, double-checked his bearings and then his eyes met hers. “Ready?”

“Mmm,” Rukia replied, languidly, reaching up with her free hand to brush against his breast.

“Here I go,” Renji murmured.

“Go slow! Not too much at once!” Rukia warned, suddenly horrified at whatever it was he thought he was gonna try.

Fortunately, Renji was sensible for once. He sank about a quarter of the way down onto her, a big grin widening on his face. “Whoa,” Renji gasped. “I got your dick in me.”

“How does it feel?” Rukia asked thickly.

“It feels, um, it feels…” Renji caught the look on her face. “I should keep going.”

Now that she was securely _in_ , Rukia moved her dick-hand to take a firm grip on his waist and helped him figure out the motion. She thumbed at his breast, trying to keep her breathing steady. Just because this was her first time as a guy was no excuse to blow her wad before they really got going. 

If Renji had thought three fingers felt good, Rukia’s cock was an entirely different story. It was filling him up completely, stretching him out in an exceedingly satisfying way. He sort of wished he could just savor this more, but he was determined to make this as good for Rukia as it was for him. When she rode him, she _rode_ him, hard and merciless, grinding down against him, which he liked a lot, but he wasn’t sure if she would. _That_ was the part he actually didn’t like about any of this. The part about not wanting to fuck himself had been an obvious lie, of course he wanted to fuck himself. Rukia’s forearms alone were sending him into a panic. It’s just that he had spent a lot of time getting good at sex as a guy, and learning what Rukia liked, and how to make her come when he wanted her to come, and how to drive her crazy when he wanted her to not. He kept checking her face for cues at how well he was doing, as he did his best to not get completely distracted by the very pleasant and exciting sensation of being extremely full of cock.

Rukia, on the other hand, had let herself get thoroughly distracted by the slippery warmth encasing her and the perky little breast in her hand. All this was very pleasant, but she was beginning to feel too passive. She had to tip her face down to see how Renji was doing and almost chuckled at the determined look of concentration screwing up his features. 

We miscalculated, Rukia realized suddenly, her face breaking into a grin. She was toppy by nature, which worked out just fine by Renji, but he was normally three times her size, which meant that he needed to take responsibility for some amount of the mechanics of their lovemaking or one of them was going to end up at the Fourth trying to make weaksauce excuses to Hanatarou. But now _she_ was the tall and _he_ was the smol, and there was absolutely no reason not to have an _awful_ lot of fun with this.

Giving the breast in her hand a small squeeze goodbye, she took a firm grip on Renji’s hips, and began thrusting up into him. She noted that he instinctively slowed his pace to match hers, grinding down in time with her thrusts. 

“Mmm, darling, you feel so good,” she praised him. “But there’s something I want to do to you.” Right now, Renji’s eyes, big and liquid and gorgeous, were glazed over with lust as she pumped him up and down on her dick. She was really giving it to him now and he was clearly into it, lips parted, making tiny gasps of pleasure every time she bottomed out against his cervix. “You’ll let me, right?”

Renji was only half able to parse what she had said over the pounding of his blood in his ears. The friction of the movement was both sending him to some higher plane and making him extremely grateful for the lube. Fuck, that little curve to the left was incredible. He took back everything bad he had ever said about his penis. “You can do whatever you want to me,” he managed, and meant it. 

Suddenly, Rukia drew him smoothly off her dick and rose to her feet, carrying him with her with one arm under his armpit and the other slung under his butt, like she was carrying a sack of groceries, if a sack of groceries were naked and pink and very, very cute. 

Renji was still wasn’t quite sure what was going on when his back slammed abruptly against the wall. He blinked and looked up. Rukia was towering over him, one big hand wrapped under his thigh, the other pinning one of his wrists above his head. His feet dangled several inches above the floor. Oh. Oh, _that_ was going on. There was a look of unbridled hunger on her face as she hefted his thigh higher before plunging into him.

In Rukia’s mind, the primary advantage of this particular sexual position was how ideal it was for getting pounded in the unoccupied walk-in pantry of some rich person’s ridiculous mansion with a very boring party going on several rooms away. Having an obscenely expensive kimono shoved up around her waist and the possibility of getting caught (they never got caught) went a long way toward turning a mediocre sex position into a very exciting one. It also worked for hedge mazes, deserted corridors in art museums, and for that matter, the Thirteen Division equipment shed. 

Now that she was the one doing the pounding, however, she liked this position very much indeed. She could (and did) bind the fuck out of Renji, and could probably take him 3 times out of 5 in an actual fight, but when it came to raw physical strength, there was no contest. It was extremely satisfying to overpower him now, to squeeze that delicate wrist in her big, calloused hand, to pin him immobile beneath her. But best of all was the _look_ on his face, all heavy-lidded eyes and flushed cheeks and heavy breaths between parted lips. There had never been a doubt in her mind that Rukia was going to enjoy this, but she had vastly underestimated how turned on she was going to be by _Renji_ enjoying this. 

Renji wanted to wrap his elevated leg around Rukia’s hip, but he didn’t have any leverage, and furthermore, his own helplessness was turning him inside out with desire. He knew Rukia was strong, but she usually had to work hard to prove it. She just seemed… _right_ in his big, muscular frame, comfortable and natural and _powerful._ Rukia was thrusting up into him with the force of a jackhammer, his butt getting knocked into the wall with each blow. Her dick felt so good inside him, but the idea that she wanted him like this, that she was just taking what she wanted from him, felt even better.

“Mmm, you feel so good,” Rukia murmured into his ear. “I’m not hurting you, am I, sweetheart?”

“I’m...good,” Renji gasped, wishing she would twist his arm just a little more before reminding himself that he was trying to hold out, here. He vaguely remembered he had a free hand, and he shoved his fingers roughly into her hair, pulling _hard_ this time. “Just ‘cause I’m small now doesn’t mean I ain’t still tough, you know.”

It appeared she _did_ like having her hair pulled. “This wouldn’t be any fun if you weren’t,” Rukia breathed, so rough it was nearly a growl. “You’re mine, did you know that?” She leaned into him, pressing open-mouthed kisses into his neck and grinding her hips into his on each thrust. “Mine and mine alone. I’m the only one who gets to have you like this.” 

Renji’s heart burned with more than just lust. Of course he was hers, he always had been. He would do anything for her. But for so long, he had convinced himself that he didn’t need her to love him back, that he would be happy just to be in her orbit. The possessiveness in her voice, the protectiveness… “Only you,” he agreed.

Rukia nuzzled her nose against the line of his jaw. She was rolling her hips now on each thrust, grinding up against his clit. “I love railing you like this, baby.” 

Renji made a high, helpless noise in his throat. “Shit, Ru, you’re gonna make me come again.”

“That was the idea,” Rukia agreed, scraping her teeth against his throat.

“But I want you to come in me,” Renji continued, his voice close to begging. "You-- you said you would."

“I plan to,” Rukia informed him coolly.

Renji squeezed his eyes closed, tugging on her hair and trying to keep breathing. How was she driving him to absolute pieces and staying cool as a cucumber? Because she was Kuchiki fuckin’ Rukia, that’s why, and he honestly was lucky that he was usually the tall, because otherwise, she probably would have killed him with too many orgasms by now. 

Renji idly recalled that when Rukia came, she had a tendency to involuntarily clamp down hard. He wondered if that came along with the gigai, because if it did, Rukia was _in for it_. His next thought was that he probably shouldn’t be thinking about the feeling of Kuchiki Rukia’s warm, wet pussy convulsing around his dick while she clawed his back and screamed out his name. “Oh, fuck” he squeaked, and then came harder than he ever had in his entire afterlife.

“Are you oka--erk,” Rukia cut off with a gasp. Renji had told her about this. Renji had definitely told her about this and she was _not_ prepared for it. 

Rukia was usually loud when she came, but this time, all she could manage was a low grunt. She was dimly aware of Renji screaming her name, but Rukia had been briefly transported to a land of flowers and sunshine. Birds were singing. Rabbits hopped about cheerfully. The very air was sparkling. She let out a happy, shaky little sigh.

Renji hung helpless against the wall, feeling very much like a damp dishrag. Rukia had braced herself against him when she came, her body pressed against his in a long vertical line, her forehead propped against the wall above his, caging him in. He felt sweaty and tired, but also very safe and loved and very, very content. 

Rukia pulled back, flashing Renji a big grin. She peeled him off the wall, swinging him into a bridal carry, and kissed him gleefully. “Ah, you did such a good job!” she congratulated him as though he had done _anything_ , and then rolled them both back down onto the bed.

When the world resolved properly once again, Renji was on his side, completely encased in Rukia. His back was pressed against her warm, hard chest. Her strong arms were wrapped around his upper body. Her chin was on his shoulder, her cheek smushed affectionately against his. _I’m the little spoon,_ he realized. _This is what it’s like to be the little spoon. This is the best thing that has ever happened to me._

“Mm,” Rukia appraised, snuggling him possessively, and pressing kisses into his jaw and neck. “Mmmm, I love you so much. That was so nice. Did you have a nice time?”

Renji was honestly a little overwhelmed. It was more than just the orgasm and the spooning on top of that-- Rukia wasn’t usually demonstrative like this. He knew she loved him, and she knew he knew. After all, she had told him, hadn't she? Anything beyond that was basically gravy. “Ah, yeah,” he agreed. “I love you, too,” he added belatedly. 

Rukia gave him a happy squeeze. “I made a bit of a mess of you, I’m afraid.”

Renji blinked. “Oh. I’m sorry. Am I sticky? I can go get cleaned up.” He did not want to go get cleaned up. He wanted to stay right there, possibly forever.

Rukia relaxed her hug on him and brought a hand up to cup one of his breasts. “I was actually wondering if you wanted me to clean it up for you. Not this minute. When you’re ready.”

Renji’s eyes went wide. “Ah--ah-- um-- oh, shit.”

Rukia rubbed her face into his neck. “We have these gigai all week you know. If you’re feeling too overstimulated, you can have a raincheck.”

“I came so hard,” Renji murmured. “But that sounds really hot.”

“It is really hot,” Rukia agreed, really enjoying the feel of that breast in her palm. “I know because you do it for me all the time. But it sounds like I tired you out. Next time, okay?”

“You promise?”

“You bet I do.” She gave Renji another full-body squeeze. “We should go clean up, though, because if we don’t do it now, we’ll just fall asleep like this. Here, I’ll go first. I'll be quick and then you can have the bathroom for as long as you want.”

Rukia wasn’t gone for very long, but Renji had almost fallen asleep when she got back. “It’s not even that late, lazybones,” she teased him, prodding him to his feet. “I’ll change the sheets.”

Renji gestured vaguely towards his closet. “They’re, uh--”

“I know where you keep stuff,” Rukia informed him.

Renji shuffled into the bathroom and did a double-take at himself in the mirror. His hair was sticking up on one side. His eyes were wide and darkly wanton. There was a look of satisfied stupefaction on his face. No wonder Rukia had wanted to go another round. If he could reduce her to this, there's no way he would be able to keep his hands off her.

He washed up, figured out how to take a whizz in this thing, and dragged a comb through his hair, for all the good it did. He surveyed his face in the mirror. He wondered if Rukia would mind if he put some make-up on her gigai before they headed out to the Living World tomorrow. Maybe she’d let him do it for both of them. He definitely didn’t want anyone, even Rukia, going around in his gigai without proper eyeliner. The plan had been to take the trip through the Dangai in their own gigai and then do some test swaps once they were over there, but now Renji kinda wanted to try going over swapped. Mostly, he wanted to see how long they could mess around with Ichigo before he caught on.

The bathrobe Rukia kept at his place was hanging on the back of the door, next to his own. It was plum silk, embroidered with peonies. It was probably the most expensive thing Renji kept in his quarters, counting sunglasses, and not counting priceless things like zanpakutou and loves of his life. It was very, very silky, and he always found extra excuses to touch Rukia when she was wearing it. It occurred to him that he could _put it on_. He could put that super expensive, silky thing on his own naked body. “Hey!” he called. “Do you want a bathrobe?”

“Naw!” Rukia called back from someplace that didn’t sound like the bedroom. “I told you, as long as I’m in your body, I refuse to put clothes on it.”

Well, there went the idea of putting off swapping back, there was no way he was letting her go through the Dangai in the buff.

A few minutes later, Renji emerged from the bathroom. He was wearing a bathrobe. It was his own bathrobe, the white one with pink flowers, the one that Rukia wore whenever she thought she could get away with it, even though she had an exquisite silk robe in his quarters expressly for her use. He had the sash tied around his waist twice, and he’d had to gird it up creatively to keep from tripping over the hem. His shoulder kept slipping out of the neckline.

Rukia’s face absolutely melted when she saw him in it. “Do I really look like that?” she hooted.

“I’m sure you’re much cuter,” Renji sniffed, and stopped dead.

“Impossible,” Rukia declared.

“What’s this?” Renji asked, still staring down at the tray on the nightstand. It had a cup of tea and a ginger biscuit on it.

“For you,” Rukia said simply. 

Renji settled himself primly down on the futon and examined his bounty. There were three teabags in the cup. A bowl of sugar and a spoon sat next to it.

“I figured Brother would come crashing through the wall if I dared put sugar in a cup of tea, so you have to do that part yourself,” Rukia informed him. “Other than that, did I do okay?”

“But what is all this _for_?” Renji asked incredulously. 

Rukia scooted behind him, putting one leg on either side of him and starting to rub his shoulders. “Usually, I come over and we fuck and then we eat some ridiculously good thing you've cooked for me. I wanted you to get the full Wrecked-by-Abarai-Renji experience, aftercare and all.”

Renji tried to pick up the tea. The cup was approximately 600 degrees C, just the way he liked it.

“To be fair,” Rukia went on, “you made those cookies yourself. I just put one on a plate.”

“Do you want to share it?” Renji offered.

“I ate, like, three, while I was in the kitchen. That one’s all yours.” She wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her nose in his hair.

“Thanks,” Renji mumbled, dunking the cookie in his tea before stuffing his face with it. The dumb hormones in this gigai were making his eyes mist up. “I thought you hated my tea.”

“I love your tea,” Rukia corrected. “Because I love you.”

“Am I really like this after sex?” Renji sniffled. “Why are you being so perfect?”

“Trust me, you’re much worse,” Rukia informed him, trying to maneuver one hand through the gap in his robe. 

"You'll let me make breakfast in the morning, though, right?"

"Unless you want an exotic breakfast consisting of already-edible-things-I-find-in-your-kitchen, I was sort of counting on it," Rukia admitted.

"Sake and pickles are a perfectly legitimate breakfast."

Rukia cleared her throat. "So, ah, we're getting out of these things to sleep, right? We've had our fun, no need to wake up with leg cramps in the morning, right?"

Renji stiffened. He finished chewing his bite of cookie slowly. "Do we have to?"

Pleased, Rukia settled her chin on top of his head. "Of course not. Not if you don't want to."

Renji was attempting to pick up his tea again. "Don't fuck with me, Rukia. You think I went through all that just for you to snatch my little spoon rights away at the last second? I love you more than life itself, Ru, but I swear, I will _cut you_ …"

Rukia laughed, feeling big and warm and happy. "I feel like maybe there's some of my personality still stuck to that gigai. I love you, you salty little bitch, and I promise to breath all over you all night and put my arm on your face and wake you up in the morning with a boner jammed up against your ass. You're gonna love it, it's a delight."

"Yeah, well, I hope _you're_ ready for industrial grade snoring and some cold fuckin' toesies, mister."

"The toesies go with Sode no Shirayuki, and I'm pretty sure she came along with me."

"I’m not 100% positive about that and Sode no Shirayuki loves me, she will do me this solid."

"Pfft, you're probably right. Forget that tea, it won’t be cooled down enough to be drinkable until morning. Get under the covers with me."

Renji put his tea aside and turned down the light, and they both wriggled down under the covers until they were comfortably entangled in one another once more.

For all of three minutes, there was silence.

Then, "I should set the alarm earlier."

"For _what_ , you goon?"

"So I have time to make breakfast _and_ take care of the stiffy you are gonna wake up with."

"Ah, good call! What a smarty I have for a partner!"

Renji groped for his phone, futzed with it briefly, and then tossed it back on the nightstand. "G'night, Rukia."

"G'night, Renji."

Another three minutes of silence.

"Hey, Renji?"

"Yes, Rukia?

"Do you think that was, strictly speaking, masturbation?"

“Good night, Rukia.”

“No, I mean, if you stop to think about it--”

"GOOD NIGHT, RUKIA."

~ end 😁


End file.
